INSANE ACTOR, REAL LIFE GORE REVIVE CB FRANCHISE---by Lucius Isaacson, Film Correspondent | |
|
It's shocking, but true. During filming of the seventh film in the Chopping Block franchise, actor Steve Guttenberg, who originally
popularized the role of madman protagonist "Butch", and who was also recently acquitted of over two dozen counts of homicide incurred in a
cannibalistic killing spree, burst onto the set of the film, bloodily murdering anyone who got in his way with various implements of mayhem.
That's the truth. The shocking part is that the entire rampage was captured on film, and was recently released to public and critical acclaim
as Chopping Block VII: Guttenberg Gone Mad, with the tagline "This time the blood is real". Hollywood has not seen this kind of brutal reality packaged as entertainment since the Faces of Death videos of the '80s, purported to chronicle actual deaths and maimings of various sorts and degrees. But Guttenberg's madness has apparently turned into the studio's gain, as ticket buyers are flocking to the theaters to witness the bloody spectacle of the actor running amok on a film set, chasing down actors, crew, caterers, and just about anyone who happens to be present and killing them gorily and mercilessly. Guttenberg was apparently driven insane by the success of Jack Nicholson in the role of Butch, achieved after Guttenberg quit the role due to a storyline dispute. Unfortunately, actor George Clooney, reprising his role as Butch from the widely panned box office failure Kill Me Silly: Chopping Block 6-6-6, was not present on the lot the day of the massacre, and escaped being killed by the furious Guttenberg. Rather than turn the actor (who eventually calmed down and stopped slaying) in to authorities for prosecution, the studio has protected him with a vanguard of the best attorneys money can buy, intent on creating a real-life sequel even bloodier than CB7. "Steve is hot property again," said one producer. "He's the golden boy. He was right... the sonofabitch was right... he IS Butch!" Perhaps he's even bigger than Butch. He may have eclipsed the fictional killer as America's slasher of choice. |